Barbara J Harvey
Personal & Business Coach
Helping you become who you’re meant to be!
Very few people can put their hands up and say that life has turned out exactly how they would like it to be.
Most of us would admit to having something that has held us back, such as lack of confidence or not enough money or time. There is usually something that we say is ‘the reason’ why we couldn’t do what we wanted.
Not all of us want to go to the moon, become a famous footballer or a top model, but we may have a desire to become slimmer, be able to drive on a motorway, take a flight to the holiday of our dreams or just be able to hold a conversation with someone without feeling that we are in the way or out of our depth.
To someone else these may seem like little things that can easily be changed, but when it is you that is experiencing these feelings, your whole life can feel like it is being controlled by them. Everyone learns things in a different way so what person 1 finds easy to comprehend person 2 may find more difficult, and what person 2 finds a breeze to change person 1 could be stuck fast. We are all unique.
Stress is something that we hear mentioned so much and we are told about the number of working days that are lost through people being diagnosed with stress and being given time off sick.
We all display Stress in our own unique way so when we see our GP and explain our worst symptom these may not be the worst symptoms for another patient later in the day.
Stress is not caused by a situation that has happened in our life, it is caused by how we respond to that situation. When an incident happens we may think about it a lot and then our mind starts going round and round in circles, so before long it seems to be the only thing we think about and to top it off, it then starts keeping us awake at night because it is buzzing around in our head. It is usually at this stage that we feel that something has gone wrong in our heads and we need to be fixed so we toddle off to our GP who will give us sleeping tablets or anti-depressants which will mask the symptoms but does nothing to change what our mind is doing when we think about the initial situation.
Would you believe me if I told you that nothing has gone wrong, you are perfectly well and the fact that you have symptoms means that you are fit, healthy and functioning normally? I didn’t think so! I know I didn’t before I became qualified as a Life Coach.
When I have clients that suffer with stress, I go through how they are getting the symptoms they are displaying and together we develop a strategy to follow so they can make the changes they need to get them back to how they want to feel. Some clients decide to take medication for a short period of time to help them initially while we are developing the strategy and they become familiar with it.
There are so many things that a Life Coach can help with, like weight loss. Over eating is not the problem, it is a symptom of something else, and even though you may think you know what it is, from my 15 years experience I can tell you that most of my clients are shocked when they find out the true reason for their problem. It is usually the result of an incident that happened when they were a child and something that they can’t consciously remember, but once we have found it and worked with it, they become more successful at following any weight reduction programme.
You may feel it is difficult to go to new places or meet new people. It could be that driving on particular types of roads is something that you avoid. It could even be something like picking up the phone and speaking to someone you don’t know that you find difficult. It could be a fear of heights, certain insects, reptiles, dogs or cats. These things sound little and you may think they are stupid but they make you tailor your life to avoid them which means you could be missing out on something that you would enjoy. Who knows?
An analogy: A small boulder placed in a stream can totally change the current downstream. Remove the boulder and the stream flows calm and smooth. So – if you remove your ‘thing’ your life will become what it is meant to be.
It costs nothing to ask and it costs nothing to chat, so why not give Barbara a ring to find out. Leave a message and contact information on the answer-phone and she will get back to you as soon as she can. Or send her an email. It is so easy to find an answer. Contact details are at the top of each page or on the contact page.